Day 33 of 40-Day Devotions 2020

TabletalkReader     March 6, 2020 in Religion 85 Subscribers Subscribe


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(From our church-wide devotion book at Pinedale Christian Church, "You 2.0”)

I was a mess but didn’t realize it. The life of a fisherman is not easy. Working year-round in the heat of summer and cold of winter, mostly at night, made me what you might call, hardy. My days were spent cleaning and mending nets, and most evenings, I’d set out with a crew and a couple of other boats to find a catch. We had to be organized, working together watching for storms while chasing fish into our nets. In the mornings, we’d make it back, ready to separate, prepare and sell our haul.

My Jewish upbringing taught the Shema Yisrael prayer in Deuteronomy 6:6-9. And one thing I knew for certain was if a Rabbi ever uttered the words, “Come, follow me,” it meant that you were chosen as the best of the best in a crowd of students. And with pride, honor, and privilege, you would drop everything and go.

So you can imagine my shock the day Jesus walked up to our boat and said those exact words! You see, my name Simon literally means weak, wavering, and mushy! I never imagined I would be chosen! Some thought I was crazy, but there was no hesitation when He looked straight into my soul and made me believe that I was made for more.

I jumped in with both feet. What an adventure!

I secretly wondered if Jesus focused on calling us fishermen because we were hard workers, even in difficult circumstances. We’ve experienced storms and never cowered, but walking with Jesus was unlike any storm I’d ever embraced.

Remember, we disciples witnessed miracles and wonders on a daily basis and (frankly) being in His posse of friends, honestly, went to our heads. We spotted flaws in others while missing the arrogance in ourselves. On the other hand, Jesus called us. He saw something in us. He even called me a Rock!

That’s why is hurts so much that in His darkest hour, I wasn’t there for Him.
It started in the Upper room, where He said I would deny Him. How could He think that? And then, in the garden of Gethsemane, He asked me to pray, and I fell asleep. What in the world? I could stay up all night fishing, but couldn’t pray with my Lord?

That night, this privilege I was given, to be called a disciple, took a terrible turn. When asked if I knew Jesus, I lied, not once but three times! My bold, self- confidence died. The ‘rock’ shifted to sinking sand.

When the rooster crowed, I realized what I had done and cried like a baby. Shame engulfed me. Now what? I went back to the only thing I knew, the familiar life of fishing.

My first night on the water, I caught nothing. Failed at disciple now failing at fishing. Suddenly, a voice called out from the shore, “Friends, have you caught any fish? Throw your nets on the other side, and you’ll find some.” Looking down at my empty boat, I immediately threw my nets on the other side. There it was, the catch of a lifetime! There were so many fish we couldn’t haul them in!

That’s when John figured it out, “It’s the Lord!” My heart began to race, I couldn’t get to Him fast enough. I jumped into the water. He had fish cooking, and we ate, but there were no words. I could barely look at Him, I was so ashamed.

When we finished eating, Jesus asked me three times, “Do you love me? Feed my sheep.” It was both humiliating and restorative. Every time I said, “Yes, Lord, I love you,” it confirmed my belief was still alive. And every time He said, “Feed my sheep,” it was as if Jesus was giving me a second chance to BECOME the Rock He saw all along. In that encounter, I knew Christ blotted out my denial and restored my soul.

From that moment on, my love, faith, and commitment grew. It got deeper and stronger. I began to preach and teach and feed and nurture the flock entrusted to me, only this time, not in my own power, but the power of the Holy Spirit. And this weak man who was afraid of a finger-pointing servant girl at the crucifixion was suddenly able to face a crowd of strangers, unafraid. In one day, three thousand turned and became followers of Christ.
And here’s the truth. Jesus came after me when I was ready to quit. He didn’t give up on me, and He isn’t giving up on you either. He has a bigger purpose than we can fathom. He isn’t calling us to fish with a single pole and little bait. He expects us to throw the net so that MANY will hear the good news and find His encouragement.

That’s my 2.0 story, and it is also your story. You have been called. You must accept the risk. You will stumble. But God offers us grace, love and restoration.

Dalton Conley is a sociologist at New York University. He and his wife, Natalie Jeremijenko, have two children. They recently sought permission with the city of New York to change their four- year-old son’s name to Yo Xing Heyno Augustus Eisner Alexander Weiser Knuckles Jeremijenko-Conley.

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